Silent Struggles: 5 Signs Your Child is Affected by Divorce

Silent Struggles: 5 Signs Your Child is Affected by Divorce

Divorce is not an outcome for which any family intends to aim. It is an unfortunate result of the best intentions not being enough – whether two people simply become incompatible with one another, or one person crosses a line through failing to properly uphold their vows, responsibilities or even basic moral mores. If you have children, it’s important to look after their mental health at this time. There are many signs your child is affected by divorce that you can look out for.

While divorce is not aspirational, it is by no means a failure. For many, it is the opportunity to try again; a new lease on life, free from the yoke of a painful, inappropriate or even abusive marriage. Still, this does not free you or your children from the negative impacts of divorce. Indeed, your children are likely to suffer the most from the division of your family, even if that division is for the best. But what are some of the key signs that your child is being impacted?

Changes in Behaviour

The first, and perhaps most obvious, sign that your child is being negatively impacted by divorce is slight or significant changes in their behaviour. Simply put, your child may act out in ways they didn’t before – whether they are more aggressive, more withdrawn, or simply more defiant.

Further, your child might start displaying increased struggles with emotional regulation – in essence, presenting mood swings or temper tantrums on a more frequent basis. Age is a key factor here, not just in which behaviours change but also in their levels of comprehension regarding divorce and the ways in which their life will change.

Regressions in Development

Emotional dysregulation is one obvious sign, but developmental dysfunction is another such obvious sign to look out for – at least, when it comes to behavioural regression at home, such as with bedwetting, thumb-sucking, or overly clingy behaviour. This regression is not permanent, but it is a way for your child to seek comfort and security during a period of uncertainty.

Difficulty Expressing Feelings

Behavioural change and developmental regression are enough on their own to cause emotional distress in your child, on top of the difficulties inherent to divorce. Altogether, and with the time-consuming nature of divorce for parents, this can manifest in trouble articulating their emotions – and a lack of interest in things they once enjoyed, possibly as a way of withdrawing emotionally.

Increased Anxiety or Worry

Emotional withdrawal is a common signifier for ill mental health – which leads us to the prevalence of anxiety in children of divorce. Changing living situations, and concerns about the well-being of their parents, will naturally impact their comfort levels in this regard. It is here that family mediation facilitated by your divorce solicitor can be especially important, as an avenue for helping your child feel security in the processes to come.

Academic and Social Difficulties

Finally, and often most invisibly of all, divorce can affect your child’s focus and social interactions at school. With your attentions elsewhere, your child’s struggles with schoolwork, and withdrawal from friends can fly under the radar.

Guest Article.