The Ultimate Breaking Up Guide – Everything You Need to Know

The Everything-You-Need-to-Know About Breaking Up Guide

Splitting up is never usually easy, whether you are the instigator of the break up or not, it can be an emotionally challenging time. It’s therefore helpful to know about some guidelines before or during your separation. You can find lots of useful tips below on this ultimate breaking up guide.

Think about what you will say

Of course, you have already thought about what you are going to say but you should take this up a gear before you break up. In other words, have a run through of the conversation in your mind beforehand.

While you need to avoid the temptation to overthink, it can be worth thinking about how you will phrase things. If the news is likely to not go down well, it could be a stressful conversation. Because of this, it’s a good idea to think through the main points you want to make in advance. This will give you chance to consider how you want to say it. It will act as a good head start before your break up chat.  It will also give you time to consider the way in which you deliver the news. By doing this, you can ensure you are not placing blame, starting an argument and being as neutral as possible. 

Be honest

In all areas of life, it’s wise to be honest. Most people can see through dishonesty, whether it’s conscious or not. It also shows that you are being genuine and respectful of the other person. This is true even if you are delivering news they don’t want to hear.  If you have started a new relationship with someone else, then do tell your ex about it. It’s better to hear it from you than other mutual friends or social media. 

Do the deed on neutral ground 

This will depend on your own personal living arrangements, but if, for example, you are living in your partner’s home, it can be a good idea to break up with them somewhere else. Things can get awkward at home and the place where you breakup can become symbolic to either party. Don’t leave that legacy in a room which one or either of you has to remain. Look for a public yet quiet place where you will likely never return. 

Avoid all the negatives

If you have decided to break up with someone that you think doesn’t want to break up with you, don’t deliver more hard news. The split is already likely to bruise them, so giving additional and specific reasons such as you snore too much, you’re too opinionated or, you are no fun anymore will only serve as to hurt their feelings more and perhaps give them an insecurity in the future. Explain the positive things you feel about them without going over the top and offering them hope – it’s a fine balance but worth thinking about before you end things. 

Take the emotional burden off yourself 

Although you may be the person who is initiating a split, you should also remember that you are within your rights to end your relationship if it is not right for you. If you think your former partner could make you feel bad about your decision, then be prepared to remind yourself that what you are doing is ‘okay’ and for the best for both of you. 

And finally…

We have come to the last tip in this breaking up guide. If the thought of splitting up is making you nervous you may opt to deliver the news over the phone, online or via text. In most cases, you should avoid this. Breaking up in person shows that you have respect for that person even if you no longer want to be with them. Although it’s not usually a comfortable experience, you will be glad you did it in hindsight.

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