How to Cope with Divorce While Pregnant
Is it a good idea to get divorced while pregnant? Getting a divorce is a decision that’s not easy to make. Especially if you are pregnant you might believe staying with your partner is the right thing to do even if your instincts tell you otherwise. There are even some states in the US where you can’t file for divorce until the baby is born.
Besides the stress that appears in the couple’s life regarding the sharing of goods after the divorce, they would also have to decide over custody, alimony and child support.
So, the question is how can a woman cope with all of that? The answer is quite simple: she has to put herself and the baby first. If the relationship has become toxic and the best way to avoid stress is to get a divorce, then the couple should file for divorce. Staying together for the sake of the child is in many cases more damaging than helpful. Of course, the couple should have an open conversation about the issues in the relationship, read about divorce law and decide if this is what should be done.
If there’s any kind of physical or psychological abuse from the partner, then asking for help from a lawyer, police and specialized NGOs is the best solution for a pregnant woman. If the partner’s been violent in the past, confronting him alone might be dangerous for both the mother and the child. Some mothers decide to stay with the aggressor during pregnancy in hope that something will change when the child is born. There’s no need to explain why this idea is wrong and how important it is for them to get away from the abuser and get help as soon as possible.
Pregnancy – taking care of the mother and the infant
The mental and physical health of the mother should be a priority in her life even though she is going through a break up. It’s in both parents’ best interest to have a healthy baby that has not been exposed to any stress or substances while still in the womb.
Most specialists in psychology recommend that both partners go to therapy after a divorce. Some people believe that they can cope with a divorce without the help of a specialist in mental health. However, a pregnant woman that is going through a divorce should definitely visit a therapist to discuss what is going on in her life. Getting support during the pregnancy reduces the risk of the mother to try and cope with the divorce in unhealthy ways that could harm both the mother and the child.
A pregnant woman is vulnerable and will need attention in the final months of the pregnancy, so if she’s divorced from her partner, she will need the support of her family, friends or a specialized community. Having people around her and supporting her is crucial especially because getting out of bed and doing even the simplest of chores can be hard in the 8th and 9th month of pregnancy. If the relationship ended in a friendly tone, the father of the child could most likely help as well.
What kind of divorce can you file for while pregnant?
There are some states in the US where you can’t divorce while pregnant. In this case, the parents have to wait until the baby is due. According to the site here, the Texas court has a waiting period for divorce, and in case of pregnancy, the waiting period is until the child is born. The first thing that you will be asked if you file for divorce in Texas is if the woman is expecting a baby. In this case, the court advises the couple to postpone the divorce.
If you are living in a state where you can get a divorce while pregnant the situation changes a little. Depending on the relationships between spouses, there can be either an uncontested divorce or a contested one. Usually, the easiest way to get separated is by an uncontested divorce. It is that kind of divorce where the couple agrees on all the important points such as sharing of goods and properties, child support and visiting rights. In the contested divorce, the attorneys represent the clients and the judge has the final word about sharing the goods and child visitation rights.
A mediation involving both spouses might be the least stressful option. You’ll work out any issues together with a neutral third party who will help you come to agreements and divide up any assets and property fairly.
Coping with the break up – A how-to guide
Before taking legal action, if there’s a baby on the way the couple should separate for a time. Usually, a pregnant woman is harder to deal with. According to this site, There are plenty of changes happening in her body and sometimes she might be impulsive and say things that she doesn’t mean. Some space and time to reflect on the relationship might solve the couple’s issues and they might realize such a radical decision is not what they need. This is one of the reasons there are states that do not allow pregnant couples to divorce until the baby is born.
Even if the divorce can’t be avoided, separation, until the baby is born and filing for the divorce afterward, is recommended. This way, the mother does not go through the stress of divorce while pregnant. It is scientifically proven that if the mother is stressed then the child suffers too. Separating and leaving the paperwork until after the birth of the child is the best way to act.
Getting therapy is the first step that should be taken in case of separation. A specialist can give a pregnant woman advice on how to cope with the divorce. Having someone to share her thoughts and fears with is very important for a soon-to-be mother and the best advice comes from specialists that can guide her.
Joining a yoga class for pregnant women is also an amazing way to pass the time and keep herself distracted. Meeting other soon-to-be mothers and discussing with them can be a great way to cope with the divorce that she will have to face.
The key to coping with a break up when you decided to leave your spouse while pregnant is to keep yourself busy with activities that are productive and do not harm the child. Keeping good physical health and finding ways to keep your mind busy are very important. Having people to talk to is also very important for anyone that is going through divorce, so going to therapy and keeping yourself surrounded by people that you can talk to can really help.
Sometimes pregnant women can be impulsive, and they might rush into taking irrational decisions, so before filing for a divorce while pregnant, the couple should separate for a while and think about it. A few days of solitude to calm down and think about the relationship might solve the issues the spouses have. In some states, the couples can’t divorce while the woman is pregnant.
If the pregnant woman wants to divorce because the spouse has been physically abusive then making sure that the aggressor does not live in the same house as she is the first thing she should do. A victim of abuse should call the police to acknowledge that there has been physical violence and ask for help from family or specialized NGOs without feeling ashamed. Most of the victims of abuse decide to stay because they are afraid of being judged or because they blame themselves for what happened. However, there are plenty of organizations that fight for their rights and support them and the child through divorce.
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